Las Vegas is warm. It is tacky. It is everything you expect it to be.
While in Vegas, I went on the roller coaster at New York, New York. I went on all three rides at the Stratosphere. I won $1000 US.
See, my gramma cheated at cards. All card games, gramma cheated. She also swore like a sailor when she lost. In order to combat her cheating, I somehow learned to count cards. When she started losing to the smart mouth kid, she stopped playing the smart mouthed kid. I make no apologies.
This talent has never paid off for me. People don't like playing me at cards because I call their bluff. It's not difficult to figure out the cards you have based on the cards I have. I've been told I should play poker but I don't have the willingness to learn that. Bah.
I swore that I would only put $10 in a slot machine and that would be the end of my Vegas gambling experience. Nope. They had $5 single deck blackjack tables at Stratosphere - that's just asking for it. I got $100 in chips and played $80 before walking away with $1100 US. I know I could have doubled it in no time but I chose to walk away. A grand US in Vegas isn't a bad day at all. Such an obvious newbie however; I asked the nice blackjack dealer what I do with the chips after I won. She gave me a tray to take them over to the cashier and I guarded those things with my life and made a beeline to the desk! THANK YOU MINE GOODBYE!
The roller coaster was amazing. Jade and Xuilin didn't exactly want to go on it but I left them with very little choice. It was mildly frightening! Okay more than mildly. I was glad I peed beforehand! This isn't my video - as we went at night, did not sit in the front seat, and did indeed scream and laugh for all it was worth - but it gives you a good idea.
Me on the climb: it's not that bad!! It's not that bad!!
Me on the drop: I LIED.
I've been told a lot about the Grand Canyon by everyone who has been there. I've been told the colours are unreal, it's vast, it's very dark at night - all kinds of things. One thing that everyone agrees on is that you have to see it to believe it; no pictures do it justice.
All of these things are true.
I'll do my best with words but I will fail. There really aren't any words.
The drive from Laughlin is long enough. There's a time change between Nevada and Arizona which makes it seem longer. Thanks, once again, to Sanford Flemming.
Our guide hands us paper bags and markers, asking us to draw a quick "selfie" on them in the van before we get to the canyon. Okay, crazy man. We do it and once in the parking lot, we are told to put the bags over our head. Alright....
I'm glad we did. Once we got to the rim, he told us to take the bags off.
It was.....spectacular.
Had we been catching glimpses of it as we were walking up, it still would have been spectacular but less so than seeing it all at once for the first time.
James is amazed too.
As we trekked down, three of us powered down into the canyon. Others wanted to take more pictures, we didn't want to waste daylight. We also knew the trek back up would suck. We were about a third of the way in on our path when out of nowhere, a rock fell down and nearly took Jason out. It was about the size of a hand! He was half a step ahead of it or he would have been taken out.
We made our way to a very aptly named point:
We have gained a LOT of altitude today and in addition to powering down the canyon, my head is starting to hurt.
Contemplating the meaning of life after a brush with death.
Going back up was killer. I'm really glad we took our time. Holy crap. No rocks tried to kill us this time, however. We did come across an iconic Grand Canyon scene:
Mules!
I don't know how to describe the Grand Canyon. It looks fake. It doesn't look real. It looks as though you can take a couple of steps and go through a painting, a Photoshop. It is vast and unreal. I'm not at all good enough with words to be able to describe it and pictures cannot do it justice. You must see this.
I got my UNESCO!
We moved further down to watch the sun set. It was cloudy so the sky wasn't spectacular, but the view was.
Spectacular.
I heeded Mom's warning and bought a headlamp. It does indeed get really dark, really fast. This dollar store head lamp, however, has three settings - high, low, and disco. It is very bright! The unfortunate part is that the disco setting is the one right before you turn it off.
We went back for a bit the next day as well.
Unbelieveable.
On the way out of town, we stopped at a mediocre but cute place on Route 66.
This street sign is 15 feet up; apparently it is the most stolen sign in the USA.
Today we head to Calico, California. This is a ghost town. There are actually a lot of people and shops (that sell "Make America Great Again" baseballs) here.
James has run afoul of the law in the past and it finally caught up with him.
Calico used to be a silver mining town, then a borax mining town, then a nothing mining town. Now it's a tourist trap. The saloon has some pretty strict rules, however:
But y'know, Kids Welcome.
one room school house, zero horse town.
It is very warm in Calico. Very, very warm. It's a cute little tourist trap town, with the chance to stretch your legs and learn some history.
James has made friends with some of the women on the tour - Maddie (Australia), Ramona (Switzerland), and Svetlana (Bulgaria). All were resting due to being over dressed.
We drove on to Laughlin, Nevada from here where the only thing worth noting is that it is pronounced with an F.
The hotel looks like an origin story. Small town girl goes out to LA to "make it" in the city. She chooses a hotel that is clean, inexpensive, close to everything, and ends up at the Dunes Inn Sunset. Two storeys that face a parking lot, palm trees with Christmas lights. The interiors of the rooms have not been updated since 1976. The beds are mostly comfortable however.
We set off early in the morning and it is overcast. We don't have a lot of time in LA (get used to this being a running theme) so we're looking to optimize it. We made our way up to Griffin Observatory, which is really cool. We walked around and got some neat pictures.
It is not a surprise to anyone to learn that I am a big nerd.
As we were walking around the Observatory, I noticed brass marks on the ground. They've marked out the paths of orbit for all of the planets.
The clouds finally cleared enough for us to get a look at the Hollywood sign.
Yay!
We are off to the Walk of Fame now. The Walk of Fame is four miles long so we don't have time to cover it all.
On the way there, I accomplish a life goal: I spotted a Toynbee Tile!
Toynbee Tiles are messages of unknown origin found embedded in asphalt of streets in about two dozen major cities in the United States and four South American cities. Since reading about them, I've wanted to find one. Now I have!
Grauman's Chinese Theatre was pretty nifty. There were many, many stars to be found. I think this was a lot more special than the Walk of Fame stars.
Turns out, that in order to get a star on the Walk of Fame, you have to pay for it. It isn't merit based.
Next: this town ain't big enough for the both of us.
As always, we have a ridiculous travel day ahead of us. Why would it be easy? Who knows. Four airports to get across the continent. Four!
Now please don't get me wrong, I love to travel. I love all aspects of it - airports, hotels, places, experiences, all of it. I just hate the other people who do it too. I understand that travel isn't a daily occurrence for most or even an annual one. Fully get that. I also understand that being a basic human isn't that difficult either.
- your chocolate lab is not "family". It is not a service dog. It is cargo. You need a kennel for it or you don't fly with it. "What am I supposed to do about it now?" Rebook? Find someone to come get your dog? At any rate, get out of line to do it.
- it is impossible to plead ignorance about carry on sizes when countless resources are available for you to figure it out well in advance of coming to the airport.
- "I didn't know I needed a passport for my kids! We're only going to Disneyland!" 1) you're going to Disney WORLD. 2) it is in a different country, therefor you need a passport.
WestJet, I love you but getting rid of the seatback TVs is the worst idea you've had. Several other airlines on the planet have figured out how to improve their seatback TVs and deal with all the reasons you gave for removing them. Do better.
Toronto was freaking NUTS. It was like the whole planet emptied in to the airport. I was also hungry. Is it too much to ask for a McDonald's to be in the airport?
I sat down for lunch and the gentleman sitting beside me talked a big game. He talked about being on the "first ever 737-MAX flight in Canada two months ago. On Air Canada!" Except....it was on WestJet....two weeks ago. He goes on to talk about how "With all of today's technology, you'd think someone would have found a way to fly from here to Paris in two hours." I had enough at this point and googled Concorde on my tablet and showed him with a simple explanation of "Super sonic travel is super expensive. Concorde was taken out of service fifteen years ago." His travel companion laughed so hard I thought she would fall off of her chair. I smiled and told her I've been where she is.
Edmonton. I had done the most research for the travel portion of the trip for Edmonton. I knew I pre-cleared US Customs here but...then what when I got to LAX? Do I just pick up my bag and go? I don't know.
I do know that there is snow on the ground. And that the walk on the jet way was the single coldest thing I've done in about 7 years. Jesus. And of course I got caught behind the slow people.
After this, things kind of went south. It took about 45 minutes to find my bag and during that time, I started to panic. What did we learn in Hong Kong? My travel panic response is to cry like a girl. I managed to get myself under control, eventually. They found my bag and I was off to the USA!
Once in the USA, I waited. And waited. And waited for my bag. All of the bags are off the plane. In St. John's it had been checked in as oversize for some reason, so I kept looking between oversize and regular. Nothing. As I'm starting to figure out what to do, I see my bag! It is on the floor and attached to someone else's bag. Bah.
I get on my shuttle bus to the hotel and decide after two hours on it, next time I will either pay for a cab or pay for a more direct route. I chose "shared ride" thinking it would be somehow regional. No. Drove all the hell over LA before getting to my hotel last. The time I'd planned on being able to meet my group and hanging out was eliminated. Fuckers.
We spent far too long travelling today. Too many trains. A lot of the travel could have been taken care of in a cab and allowed for more time in Hong Kong.
That said, Guilin to Hong Kong was pretty rad.
We were on two bullet trains! This one topped out seconds after I took this photo at 302 km/h. You honestly could not feel it. The scenery didn't zoom by or anything. It was very smooth and steady. Probably the most comfortable transportation we were on the whole trip. It still took us about two hours to get from Guilin to Hong Kong.
Once in Hong Kong, we were on public transportation. Forever. It was spacious and efficient, it just was not fast. I think at that point we'd also reached our public transport/trains/subways limit. We just wanted to be outside in what looked like a beautiful city.
By the time we got to the hotel all I wanted to do was stop and check my email. There is no Great Firewall of China in Hong Kong so gmail worked and I had approximately 200 emails to deal with. Oy. but yay.
This is where my personal worst travel experience happened.
When I travel I have routines. I have to check in to my flights 24 hours in advance. I set alarms for this, even if this means getting up at 0430. I couldn't do it this time because we were on a night train at the time. Fine. I could check in when we got to the hotel. No big deal.
Except the airline's website wasn't working. Their mobile app was in Chinese. My flight is leaving in 10 hours and I can't check in. I'm willing to concede it might be my tablet so I try the hotel in the lobby. Nope. Site is down.
I am exhausted. I am drained. I am now stressing out with a lot of Worst Case Scenarios in my head. This is where I have a small panic attack. I can't breathe. I can't think. I can hardly stand. This isn't going well. My mind is going in circles about it - I can't check in so I can't get on my flight, I'll miss my flight home, I'll miss work, I'll be fired, I have no back up plan, there goes my pension, if I can't work I can't pay rent, I'm going to be homeless - and logic is not my friend. Logically, I'm aware that I can go to the airport a bit early and check in there. I'm not going to miss my flight and be homeless. I'm aware of this but nope, my brain isn't having it. So I start crying and freaking out. A lot. Team USA manages to calm me a bit with distraction in the hotel lobby and I am okay. Team USA gets panic attacks and what helps is controlling the things they can; in this case, I can request a cab from the lovely English speaking staff. It helps. One less thing to worry about. Then I think check the site again, maybe it's up now that you're sane. Nope. Still down. And it starts again. Team Germany has the wisdom to get me outside. The flashing lights and busyness help a lot. There's nothing I can do about it now so I may as well enjoy the time I have.
We went to the Jade Market which is like the Pearl Market, but with jade. We didn't have a very long time to shop, sadly. It was also in a very sketchy area - in what looked like a plywood box, under an overpass.
It was a very warm night, probably about 28 degrees. Too warm for jeans! We went for dinner at an excellent place on Temple Street before going to the Temple Street Night Market. It was loud and bright and chaotic and hot. There were also a lot of undercover cops there busting people buying fakes. Whoops.
What was not fake was Ash's backpack.
Not long ago, Steve was looking for a "triangle drawstring backpack, but you can only get them in the Caribbean." Not SportChek or Walmart or anything, no sir. Only in the Caribbean. Except the one he bought at SportChek. I noticed early on that Ash had been carrying one of these bags so I had to ask him about it.
From here we went to Victoria Harbour to see the light show.
The CBD across the harbour from where we were puts on a spectacular
light show. You can get on a tourist boat an see it from there but where
we were and it was no less spectacular.
This is the International Finance Centre. It is a goal building of mine to see - it was designed by I.M. Pei. I've wanted to see one of his buildings and I'm glad it was in Hong Kong.
James and the palm tree tradition.
On the way back to the hotel, the group split up. I didn't feel like taking the subway because it was gorgeous. Instead, I thought I could find my way back by landmarks and navigation. Nope. I circled the street the hotel was on for over an hour. Well hello again, start of a panic attack. But I don't let it happen this time. I have the card for the hotel and I went into a store. I asked for directions in English and they were able to tell me in delightfully British accented English that the hotel was four doors down.
The beds in the hotel were awful.It was a mid-market hotel but the beds were basically a plywood box with a piece of plywood on it and some warm blankets. They made the night trains look like luxury digs. I was too tired at this point to care or to dig out my air mattress. My bag was locked. I found an English channel on the tv, read my emails (I love you, wide wide world of webs) and maybe nap.
It wasn't a long nap before I had to be in my cab (that was on time) and get to the airport early so I could check in. There's a long ass line up of people trying to check in to various flights. Well hello, anxiety. They can't find my ticket, despite me showing them the e-ticket on my tablet and things are not going well for me. Breathe. It takes them about 10 minutes but eventually they find my ticket. Thank god.
The airport is HUGE. I have to take a bus to get to my gate. It's not some like five minute bus ride either, it take about 15 minutes. Weird. There's another five minute bus ride to the actual plane as well; we boarded in the middle of the tarmac.
The flight is uneventful and before too long I'm back in Canada where I can shower and not worry about the water getting in my mouth and making me dead.
We survived. We survived the train ride and were a little worse for wear. We arrived in Guilin and stayed for about an hour while we waited for the bus that was late. More people were taking pictures of us but at this point we were used to it. Ho hum, life of a superstar.
Our bus driver keeps falling asleep. I did not plan on dying this way. We tell Howard who gallantly sits up front and talks to him, keeping him awake for the rest of the hours drive.
We're driving among these limestone karst mountains and agriculture fields. It's foggy but freaking warm. Beautiful.
Our hotel is less than beautiful. It's confusing. The elevator is small but we're on the second floor, so it doesn't matter. We can take the stairs up. On the second floor the layout is a mess. The rooms are in no particular order and it's entirely possible the halls zig zag. Nothing makes sense. The rooms are also damp.
Tonight's activity is going for a float down the Li River. As I am not keen on boats, I opt out and instead choose to familiarize myself with the city. It's fairly tourist friendly; there are two main streets - one that runs the length of the city and is full of restaurants and higher end shops, and West Street (Xi Jie), which is full of restaurants and shops and people and racism. It is bright and colourful and loud. There is music and people and food everywhere. There are signs all over the place that say, "No Japanese" or "We don't serve Japanese" or "20 yuen, 50 yuen for Japanese". No one is really able to tells us why there is so much blatant racism.
We learn here that you negotiate for everything that doesn't have a printed price. Tonight we only come away with silk wine bottle covers made like traditional Chinese clothing.
Our trip the following day took us on a bike ride through rice paddies.
My bike has petal pedals!
The scenery in these parts is absolutely stunning.
It's still foggy but it is very warm. It is also muddy. So much so that it is six months later and my shoes still have orange Chinese dirt on them.
The sphere in the middle is made from limestone. It was formed by currents and glaciers and rocks when this area was under the ocean.
"Silence is beautiful and needs no explanation."
We came on an ancient (by Canadian standards, about 300 years old) water wheel. We knew Americans had been there because, as it is said, there is a sign for a reason:
Ash from Team Australia tried to catch one. He wasn't successful. They ganged up on him.
After this we were STARVING so we went back to Xie Jie and ate and ate and ate.
"What counts is the desire to transmit.As I would like to see your face delighted."
On a baby bottle full of yogurt.
We also shopped.
We used our best negotiating skills here and I think I won. I pulled the Cancer Card and got mom a North Face jacket that would cost $350 in Canada for $35. Take that, cancer.
