We are in Tiananmen Square where nothing interesting happened.
Howard is telling us about Chairman Mao and how he lead the country for a long time and many changes and so on. He married three times, raised up from a farmer to the leader of the cultural revolution. All the bad stuff he did was while he was old and senile, under the influence of his third wife who was an ambitious woman. 70% of what he did was good, 30% of it was bad. He's entombed in glass now, and he's the only one in China who is; when you die in China, you're cremated. Unless you're Chairman Mao.
We're told that there is a monument in the middle of the Square with a barricade around it. This is the Monument to the People's Heroes.
The barricade is permanent and patrolled by the military. It was placed here after a student uprising in 1989. Two blocks away is the first ever KFC in China and you have to wait six months to get married there.
....yup. Just like that.
You're not actually allowed to take pictures of it so COME GET ME CHINA. Add this to my list of international crimes.
There are blue skies in Beijing, which nobody anticipated - especially given the delays we all faced getting there.
From here, we went to the Forbidden City. We have to pass through a gate, under a picture of Chairman Mao.
Every 10 years the portrait is refreshed and somehow, "The Chairman looks younger and better, it's like magic!" says our guide.
There are many temples and gates inside the Forbidden City. We're told we can only see about 10% of it because it's so huge. A lot of kings and queens and concubines and eunuchs lived here over many thousands of years.
The detail and workmanship in the architecture is remarkable. A lot of it is the same (and you don't get close enough for good pictures). It was built up by each subsequent emperor and king who lived here, building more space for their concubines and eunuchs and advisors. There are still rooms that have been sealed for hundreds of years.
Team Australia realized that there was a Jackie Chan movie set here and proceeded to try and take pictures of themselves being Jackie Chan.
Did not go as planned.
A much better Jackie Chan? James.
with help from Izzy.
So far, Beijing has been no more crowded than any other big city I've been in. A little less busy than Paris, just as busy as New York. Beijing is a popular vacation spot for the Chinese. They like to learn about their history and be a part of it if they can.
There is a throne room within the city. It is closed off to the public but you can point your camera inside! In the roof of this throne room is a gigantic pearl to represent the moon or something. This is where the emperor sat and everyone wants a photo of it.
Everyone.
You kind of have to put your camera up and hope for the best.
I don't think I did too bad.
At some point in prehistory, Beijing was underwater. This left behind some really interesting rock formations, found in the gardens of the Forbidden City.
The rocks have clear signs.
Do you know who doesn't care for signs?
James.
Climbing on sacred rocks and taking pictures of monuments? Come at me, China.
After far too long of a delay, we take flight. I've never been on Hainan Airlines before but I will take them again. Good seats, good service.
We took a route directly from Toronto, which took roughly forever. 14 hours. Here I was thinking we'd fly due west because that makes sense. Instead, we flew north first - over the North Pole. This was really cool! Had I been awake for it - and it was daytime - it probably would have been more awesome. I even waved to Santa. That should at least bump me closer to being off the naughty list. I also watched Goon. It seemed like an odd choice for an airplane movie (and it's kind of a favourite) so I watched it. Subtitled in Chinese, of course.
They land our plane at PEK somewhere in the middle of nowhere. Airport purgatory. Apparently many, many flights were delayed due to fog in Beijing, so they were basically landing planes wherever there was room. We were loaded on to a bus and driven to the airport, which seemed to take a long time. It is also ass in the morning. I don't actually know what time it is.
Here's the thing about China. And it seems kind of obvious. Everything is in Chinese. All of it. Occasionally there's English but in a place like the airport you have to follow the hoard of humanity and hope for the best. I found a white person and we walked together to customs, which was surprisingly quick.
Getting to the hotel is a delight. Again, it is ass in the morning. Everything is in Chinese. Having done my research, I know which bus to get on and where to get off. I've also printed off the name of the hotel in English and in Chinese so if I get lost, I can show it to people and hope for the best. Get on the bus, get off the bus. It's started to rain. As someone who has done their research, I know I need to get off the bus at Beijing Railway Station. This is less than a kilometre from my hotel. Awesome. What my research did not tell me was that even at ass in the morning, this place is still crowded. And loud. So much noise. Announcements over a shitty PA in Chinese. My research also did not plan on me landing at ass in the morning so my landmarks for how to exit the station/where to go from the station are completely ruined. But I power through because things can't be that different in the dark....can they?
Yes. They can. And they're in Chinese.
After 45 minutes I eventually give up and find a taxi who will take me to the hotel. I know I should negotiate for the rate but it is 0245 and I am in no mood for it. Turns out that if I had gone around literally the only corner of the massive train station I did not explore, I would have been able to see my hotel.
I meet with my group in the morning (they've all been there since at least the day before, as I was supposed to have) and my flight was the best one in. Everyone had been delayed or rerouted. One pair even lost their bags. Suddenly extra time in Toronto doesn't seem so bad. We eat breakfast and head off to the Great Wall of China at Mutianyu.
If we're being 100% accurate, it should be called the Great Stairs of China. Because it is stairs.
As we are walking up the road to where we ascend the Great Wall, there are two options: one - hike and two - chair lift. I did not come all this way to take a chair lift up the Great Wall of China. I came to climb the Great Wall of China and take a toboggan down.
Our guide, Howard, directs us to either the path or the chair lift and splits us in to groups. At first, I'm the only one willing to take the stairs. We've got six hours here - you will wait for this fat ass to get up and down. Half the group takes the chair lift. Team Climb takes the path.
I think to myself as we're going up this set, oh, this won't be so bad. We take these stairs and then we're on the Great Wall and it's a straight - if inclined - shot. Sweet.
Yeah.
No.
There are many different kinds of stairs on the Great Wall of China.
Glass stairs.
Stairs as tall as your thigh.
There are stairs that I can only describe as fish scales - they're less than an inch high and about four inches wide, layered upon one another in a way that you have to step on every single one going up or down or you will end up on your ass. There are stairs that would more correctly be called a ladder. Cobblestone stairs.
The hike is worth it because the views are breathtaking. And let's face it - you're on the freaking Great Wall of China. There are a good deal of people on the Wall but not enough to feel crowded.
There are 23 watchtowers. If you choose walk, you start at Tower 6 (chair lift drops you off at Tower 14). To get to Tower 23, you have to commit. It is nearly vertical with a lot of the fish scale stairs. Team Climb commits.
Team Climb: Fili and Isabelle (Team Germany), Jason, Ash and Julianna (3/4 Team Australia).
I don't know if Team Chair Lift made it to Tower 23 but we were rewarded with breathtaking views.
The way down was much easier. About 80% of the stairs were down.
At Tower 6, we took the slideway. "Slideway" is what they call the toboggan track down the Great Wall of China. I did not get pictures or video of this so I will borrow someone else's. Thanks, YouTube.
As you can see, this is a year round attraction. It costs about $16 Canadian and I would pay it again and again. If you go to the Great Wall, DO THIS.
There are two speeds to the toboggan - stop and go. You go about 35 km/hour, banking on turns and laughing the whole time. This was a highlight of the trip for me.
I made a couple of decisions with the birthday trip this year that I'm not 100% confident in. They are all from lessons I have learned from the past and I'm trying to apply them in my life.
Lesson one:
Don't fly without sleeping.
The thing is, even if I set three alarms (laugh all you want, I've done it) or my flight is at a decent hour, I will still have nightmares about missing my flight because I slept through my alarm/didn't set my alarm. As a result, I will wake up frequently to check all three alarms. Yup, still set. Back to sleep and later, rinse repeat. Then my alarms go off and I don't feel rested.
I got four hours of sleep this time.
I was in a tiny bit of a rush with last minute things before I left the house, but nothing too bad. Then the cab was later than I'd like.
It's a pretty quick ride to the airport, especially at ass in the morning but it doesn't stop me from panicking a little. I've already checked in, I know the airport isn't busy, I have done this before. Breathe. I get to the airport and check my bag. The lovely WestJet man tells me I don't have to wait in line, I can use the self-service kiosk. No, I cannot. He assures me that I can and I tell him I can't because the last name on my passport is hyphenated and the machines don't like that. He insists on seeing this (not rudely, purely out of curiosity). I show him and sure enough. He says he's never seen it before but he doesn't see a lot of hyphenated last names. I eventually get my boarding pass from a person and breeze through security. It is now half an hour before my flight and I can admit to some minor panicking. I can also admit to some minor stupidity because I mistook my seat number for the gate number. Whoops. This isn't a big deal in YYT because you can stand at any point in the departures lounge and see all of the gates at once.
A few minutes after I get to the departures lounge, they call my flight. This is the closest I've ever been to the call and I don't like it.
In Toronto I have two plans: Canada's Walk of Fame and the Hockey Hall of Fame. It would be nice to get to Queen's Park but not going there - yet being so physically close and unaware - has become the cosmic joke of my life.
Prior to 2015, this side trip would not have been possible. It would have been and expensive and time consuming cab ride from Mississauga to Toronto with no guarantee of a timely return. In 2015, they opened the UP train, which operates from Pearson to Union Station, in the heart of downtown Toronto. It also costs $12 for a long layover (up to 7 hours) return, which is perfect for me. It takes about 25 minutes, which beats the hell out of at least 45 minutes in a cab at a cost of at least $50 - each way. The train ride is excellent and I would highly recommend it to anyone travelling to/from Toronto. (The trip is also possible with a combination of GO Train and TTC, but the connection is a nightmare.)
There was the added bonus of a discount to the Hockey Hall of Fame and a couple of other sites with my ticket!
Cyclone Taylor, James, and Ken Dryden.
It is apparently the 100th anniversary of the Leafs which is worth celebrating? Or something. As a result, the first part of the hall is take up by Leafs everything. Boo Leafs. There is a video constantly running in the back ground (you can see it in the picture) of a bunch of former Leafs, Leafs broadcasters, Leafs spouses, and current Leafs talking about .... well, the Leafs. Not one mentions that the plural of leaf is leaves. The exhibit is full of all kinds of historical Leafs stuff. The video mentions Tim Horton and how he got in a car accident on his way home from seeing his friends and he died. Hats off to the mom who said to her young son, "Because he was drunk."
The HHOF is housed in a former bank. In one room is the actual Hall of Fame with names and trophies. It is overwhelming. On a platform at the front of the room is the actual, real life, Stanley Cup. There is a guy there to take pictures that you pay for, but apparently understands that not everyone wants the same picture/to pay for it. So you can take your own. And I did. James is here with the Calgary Flames. The guy said I could touch the Cup and I nearly cried; he said this was fairly common.
In the vault area of the bank, you can see the old, original Stanley Cup.
Lanny!
Joe!
Douggie!
There are a lot of nifty exhibits and a lot of interactive things. I spent probably two hours wandering around.
James spent time with the superior Eastern team.
Doc Seaman's Stanley Cup ring.
From the HHOF, I revel in the beauty of a city built on a grid system. How I missed you, grid system.
Toronto manages to mess with the perfect grid system by giving the streets names instead of numbers and no wayfaring points. Sure, occasionally there are "points of interest" signs with a "five minute walk" circle in them, but no sense of direction or a "you are here" marker. Thanks, Toronto.
Eventually I find the Walk of Fame.
In order: Glenn Gould, Michael J. Fox, Anne Murray, John Candy, The Tragically Hip, Robert Munsch, , Shania Twain, Terry Fox, Toller Cranston, and Celine Dion. Click to embiggen.
What sets Toronto apart from the rest of the world? What makes it a world class city?
A great big eyesore of a structure. A structure that is proud and free standing, just like Canadians.
It is time for me to get back to the airport. This is quick and painless thanks to the fantastic UP train. Well, mostly: Union station is under construction complete with blocked entryways and no clear directions. "Use door on north side of Bay Street." Well...okay, where's Bay Street? An arrow wouldn't cost more to print - just saying, Toronto.
Turns out, my flight is delayed. A lot. So I'm in Pearson for a LOT longer than I want to be. This is not enjoyable. While trying to rearrange connecting flights for the passengers, the airline notices I don't have a connection or a return from Beijing. I learn - after 35 years and 360 days - that my last name rhymes with machine. I go to the desk and explain that no, I will be flying out of Hong Kong on the 17th. No need to worry.
I am not at all keen on boats. Call it a lesson learned. Mom went on a Float the Bow trip earlier this year, where you get in a pontoon, with someone else rowing and talking about the Bow River. It's pretty neat and Mom was excited to go. So we went.
Bow Falls is always spectacular, more so since the floods of 2013. The flow rate hasn't decreased and the water level hasn't dropped to as low as it used to me. There are boulders under those falls and I've walked across the Bow River just out of the frame. That's not possible now.
you can see the high water mark here: it was at the top of the grey-ish portion of the sandstone.
There are hoodoos! Hoodoos are mostly found in the Drumheller/Badlands area. There are a couple of sets in Banff - one you can see from the highway and this one. There are a couple of other areas too but we didn't get to them.
I got out of the boat and was really impressed with myself that I didn't puke. Our guide was fantastic; he was young but very knowledgeable about the area. Not only in the tourist stuff but in a lot of the indigenous history too. If you like boats, I would highly recommend Rocky Mountain Raft Tours.
We spent a couple of days around Calgary following our Rocky Mountain adventures. I missed my Rockies. A lot.
I've always been fascinated with religion and religious buildings. Wherever I go, there is usually some kind of church or temple I can tour. I've found I can learn a lot about a culture by how they use religion to express themselves. I've been inside some of the grandest churches in the world. I've been kicked out of a Jamatkhana, I've seen black Jesus. I've seen Giant Jesus.
I've never seen the inside of a Mormon temple.
I did not get to see inside this one either. Mom has! I have not.
The building itself is a lot greyer than most Mormon temples I've seen pictures of, which are so white they will blind you in the sun (much like the congregation). The grounds are spectuacular, however, and very well maintained. This one is done in a very modern, art deco style.
The general motif is wheat for Alberta because I guess oil derricks were too gauche.
It was a really great trip overall and I'm glad I went. The reason sucked beyond meaning but it was necessary and important.
