If the English never made it to Newfoundland

We boarded a plane to Sao Paulo. Again, at ass in the morning. Gross.
Don't get me wrong; I can understand why we're on these ass in the morning flights (so we have a whole day at the destination), but there is a difference between understanding and liking.

We're on another damn Airbus. I don't like these planes. These are usually the ones full of assholes who think taking off their shoes and socks in a small, enclosed space with other people is an acceptable behaviour. Yes, it happens on Boeings too, I'm sure, but it seems more prevalent on Airbuses.

For no particular reason at all and without any explanation, our plane is full of steam. There isn't a scent or colour to it and the crew doesn't seem particularly alarmed so I don't worry too much about it.

This persisted until after we took off. 

We arrived without incident in Sao Paulo and got on a coach for the trip to Paraty. 

Paraty is a lovely colonial town.

It's Portuguese architecture is preserved unintentionally; they did not have the money to tear it down and rebuild. The result is really beautiful. The streets are cobblestone, the buildings are white and don't look worn at all.

As can be expected, I went in to one of the three churches here.

Igreja Matriz da Nossa Senhora dos Remédios (First Church of Our Lady of the Remedies)

Brazil is predominantly Roman Catholic, by way of the Jesuits. 

I've never seen a Jesuit church before this and I was fascinated by the simplicity of it.

This church was initially the black church in Paraty. African culture still dominates in Brazil and roughly 50% of the population is black.

The people in Paraty are very nice and kind. At one point, someone told one of the sisters that she should watch her purse because it was open.

Paraty is very walkable and is open almost 24 hours. We came back from dinner around 11 pm and there were still shops open and a large number of people socializing on the street.

 per litre. Divide by 3.5.

Paraty was founded as a port city for gold. Over time, it evolved into a port city for coffee and fish. The history is very similar to Newfoundland (Portuguese came in to hoard resources, steal all the fish and then leave the place). The main difference is that the English came to Newfoundland as well and killed all the natives claimed dominion.

To round off this post, I present this without comment:

Iguassu - Argentina side

After a blessed attempt at eight hours of sleep, we wake at a decent time to go to the Falls.
This attempt to sleep was stymied by a bunch of gap year assholes who believe that parties nullify many well posted signs that say SHUT UP AFTER 11 PM (in not so many words).

Anyway.

Drove back to the Falls and had to take a train to Devil's Throat on the Argentina side.

maybe "train" is too kind a word.

The train goes approximately 5 km/h and is packed with people. Only about six of us are on the first train. We are given instructions to wait for the rest of the group but they won't be joining us for half an hour.

Piss on that, let's go explore!

The walk to Devil's Throat is about two kilometers.

I have no problem walking two kilometers; hell, I do that before I even get to work.

I have more than a small problem with it being on a metal bridge the whole time.

Hi, Lucie!

I survived, however. The bridge was wide and stable. It didn't swing or bounce or make a lot of nice, which I appreciated. Thanks for that, Iguassu Falls.

There really is no way pictures could capture what we saw and heard. The video below doesn't even really do it justice. It is loud, awe inspiring and wet.

Wandering further down the non-bridge trail, we saw some of the 275 other waterfalls that Iguassu has to offer.

As we settled in for lunch, we learned of the coati.

Coati are like raccoons, only much less domicile. They will hop on your table and steal your food and there is nothing you can do about it. One pair in our group found this out the hard way!

Coati are everywhere there is food in Iguassu. 

They are also quite cunning.

There are warning signs everywhere to not feed them or stop them from eating your food. The pictures are quite graphic!

Do you know what else Iguassu has?

Monkeys.

There was a group of about five monkeys playing in the trees and on the roof of the dining area!

We headed back in to town to get some rest in time for another Ass A.M. wake up call.

Next up: What Newfoundland would have been like without the English.

Sweet Mother of God

The first official day of the tour kicks off at 1930 at a meeting. Isn't that how things usually kick off?

We meet Santi, our tour guide. He is Argentinian and seems like a nice enough guy.
There are four Canadians, three Germans, and six Britons. Everyone is in their late twenties and up, ensuring we don't have party people. I like this. Santi informs us we have to be on the bus to the airport at 0300 in the morning to get to the airport and be on a flight at 0430. I do not like this.

We had Michael Flatley, Lord of the Dance, and his troupe staying in the suite above ours. As a result, I had approximately two and a half hours sleep. This will not go well for the rest of the world.

The flight is mercifully short and sweet. We are going to Foz do Iguaçu!
(For the record, I can understand why we had a flight at ass in the morning, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.)

Once in Foz do Iguaçu, we head over the border to the Brazilian side of the falls. 
Now, I know it will be shocking, but it was raining in a rain forest. Please, unclench your pearls.

Iguassu Falls is one of the New 7 Wonders of the World. It is amazing. There are 275 individual falls and each of them will take your breath away. 

We get drenched, both from the rain - in a rain forest, of all places! - and from the spray from the falls.

We heard many different kinds of birds in the rain forest - where, if you can believe it, it was raining - but did not see many. What we did see, however, was a toucan!

He wasn't wearing a name tag and didn't stick around long enough for me to ask if he was Sam.

Iguassu Falls

The falls are loud and unbelievable. Really there isn't a way to describe them. You can feel and hear their power. Awe inspiring. 

If anyone had bumped me at this point, I would have thrown them over the edge to go get James.

After a day of walking, we head back to our hotel in Puerto Iguazú, Brazil

Santi suggests we go for a traditional Brazilian barbecue for dinner, followed by a samba show. Great! Yes! Let's do this!

Well.

We thought we'd be going to some restaurant and having a nice meal with some samba dancers after. Partially right.

We get in the bus and drive for about half an hour, outside of Puerto Iguazú. We are now in a residential area. Okay, sure, some restaurants are in a residential area.

Nope.

We're at someone's house. Oh.

They have a wonderful back yard! It has a pool and a sheltered patio area with an awesome outdoor kitchen. This is apparently not their first rodeo.

Meat.

The barbecue is excellent. There are salads and drinks and meat. Lots of meat. 

The YOLO group (another tour group from the same company on a different tour, much younger) has joined us. There are about 50 people at the backyard barbecue. My kind of party!

 

And then, samba.

We were all in the patio area when out of nowhere the music changed and two women came in. They were very talented samba dancers.

They pulled up Ed and Tim from our group to dance with them, after both men had consumed several Caipirinha, Brazil's national drink. This is made from gasoline sugar cane alcohol, limes, their juice and sugar. Quite good and a great way to get messed up in a hurry.

We went back to our hotel for a wake up call at a decent hour.

It did not matter because there was a group of drunken gap year kids who were on our floor and partied in the halls. I was exhausted and had murderous intentions, I can admit.

Next: Argentinian falls!

Just a little touch of star quality

I spent some time napping. It was wonderful.

In the planning stages of this trip, I communicated with a woman from Ottawa and one from the UK.
We decided to meet up and go to a pub.

In the mean time, at about 7 p.m., there were horns honking, yelling in the streets, chaos. I'm staying in the heart of the city and it is LOUD. I have no clue what is going on and if I'm being honest, I am a little afraid. I know there has been elections here in the past couple of weeks and there was going to be a run off election. I didn't want to get involved in something potentially dangerous. I stayed in my room and watched it from my window.

When I met up with Lucie and Anita, we figured out that one of the local football teams, Boca Junior, won the Copa Argentina. I have no idea what any of this means except this:

We managed to find an English pub in the middle of the city and had some dinner and a couple of drinks. We're all about the same age and it works well for us.

The next day, I went for a bit of a walk.
Buenos Aires is huge but very walkable.
I had to get money out from the bank (always dodgy) and walking down the street are men calling out "Cambio, cambio", which means change; they want to rip you off change your American dollars to Argentinian Pesos. No. Go away.
Once I have some money from a bank machine, I set out to find Recoleta, the cemetery with all the cats. As should really be expected, Google Maps gave some terrible directions and I didn't end up seeing it.

What I did end up seeing was a very beautiful city.
I crossed Avenue de 9 Julio, one of the widest streets in the world. This required two traffic lights to be able to cross.

Obelisk in the middle of Avenue de 9 Julio, to commemorate the fourth centenary of the first foundation of the city.  

The city is in mostly a grid pattern, but they're not that great at labelling their streets. I don't mind, however. It is beautiful. The architecture reminds me a lot of Paris so it's no wonder Buenos Aires is called the Paris of South America. 

I came across the Pink Palace, which is the executive mansion and office of the president of Argentina.

It is a very pastel shade of pink.

I had to get back to the hotel to meet up with the rest of the tour group.

There is a good mix of people here, mostly from the UK. There are five Canadians out of 16 people! Three from Vancouver, one from Quebec City/Ottawa and me. So awesome.

We are informed that we need to check out of the hotel at 3:00 in the morning to catch an early fight to Cataratas del Iguazú International Airport and on to Iguassu Falls, Argentina. Gross.

As a result, we won't be at the hotel for breakfast. Lucie and I head to the grocery store for breakfast things.

This is where I learned I will not be having yogurt on this trip. Canada bags milk? Argentina bags yogurt. 

We went out to dinner as a group and set in for a quick nap early bed time.

Transportation day

I managed to find my way to the bus and then the subway with no problem. I only went the wrong way once! For that, I blame google maps - streets aren't listed as north or south, so telling me to go south on Queensborough Plaza isn't telling me much.

Once I got to the station I needed to transfer to AirTran to get to JFK, things went mildly awry. The AirTran isn't running. Oh. While this saves me $5 (as I still had $4.75 on my metrocard and you can't reload it for less than $5 and the AirTran trip costs $7.75), I now have no idea how I'm getting to JFK.
There is a nice lady pointing to the escalators and telling us that there is a complimentary shuttle bus to the airport. Yay!
It is a long ride but a nice one. The outskirts of NYC look like any normal city. I also recognize a lot of the streets from TV.

Once at JFK, I have to go to a far away terminal on the AirTran (which is apparently working at the airport only). No problem!
I get to the terminal and wait. I'm early, intentionally. I didn't know how long it would take to get to the airport or what lines would be like after I got there. I waited for the TAM desk to open for me to check in.

For the life of me, I will never understand why people need to have suitcases that are waist high. What is the point of this? How long are you going for? Pack better. Learn to let go a bit; you're not going to somewhere there are no shops. You don't need to pack your whole house for a week. I promise that whatever is in that bag will be there when you get back.

        American Airlines sculpture. The outer column of the base rotates and the plane has 3D sculptures of scenes from many cities.

My boarding pass says gate 16. I sailed through security and have about two and a half hours to burn. I found gate 16 and set off to explore. Turns out all the awesome things in JFK are in all of the other terminals and now I'm stuck in this one. I make the most of it by walking around a lot. I check the departure board from time to time and it says I'm at gate 47. Gate 47 is at the other end of the terminal. Okay. Plenty of time. In order to get to gate 47, you have to pass under a tarmac and the control tower. I pass through - easily a kilometer from gate 16 - after checking to make sure this was my flight according to the screen at the gate. Yup.
I sat and waited for it to be called. For an hour. I notice the time is getting close to what my boarding pass says but think very little of it; I haven't been on a flight that has boarded on time according to the pass ever.

On the overhead, I hear this is a final boarding call for TAM flight 8081 with service to Sao Paulo and through to Buenos Aires. Well fuck.
I asked the nice people at the gate desk to call them and tell them I was coming and then I booked it. I sprinted for a kilometer to gate 16. I was sucking oxygen so bad and coughing so hard when I got on the plane that I thought I was going to throw up. People were looking at me as if I had the plague (I can't say I blame them, I would have looked at the person coughing up a lung like that as well). I explained to the nice lady I was sitting beside that I'm not sick, I just sprinted across the entire terminal. She seemed to understand and the coughing subsided in due time.

The flight to Sao Paulo wasn't exciting. Great service from TAM! I love these non-North American airlines.
Before departing the plane, they give you a video run down of what will happen in Sao Paulo airport. This is beneficial as the place is gigantic. It instructs you where to go, how to get there and how long it will take. Awesome. I've never seen something like this before!

James apparently lost a shaker of salt.

Flight to Buenos Aires is mostly uneventful. Except there are no seat back TVs. this is 2015, TAM. You're flying an Airbus POS. Get with the times.

Buenos Aires!
I went straight to the hotel and slept. I was exhausted. Total travel time wasn't all that bad at 14 hours, but it is enough to drain a person.

The room is huge! The bed is comfortable and I am very glad at this point to be sleeping in it.

New Amsterdam

I stayed in Astoria, Queens.
This is a really awesome part of New York I can admit that I've never been to before. It reminds me a lot of the Beltline in Calgary in terms of architecture.

My hosts are amazing!
I got in at about ten at night and they were more than accommodating. We all stayed up for a few hours talking about everything and nothing. Awesome.

In the morning, I set out looking for a couple of caches. I was impressed that I found three out of the five I was looking for. Of the two I didn't find, one had WAY too many people around and the other was too dark to try for. Oh well, next time.
I was mildly disappointed that the caches in Central Park were mostly puzzle caches. Again, oh well.

As is par for the course in NYC, I did a lot of walking.

Robert F. Kennedy Bridge

Once I got  on the island, I didn't really stop. 

I ate.
I drank coffee.

I ate.

James had an audience with Pope Francis.

As one does

We walked some more. People are chirping on his Flames hoodie. Whatever, just because he likes a better hockey team than you do is no reason to take out your aggression on a teddy bear.

Big screen James in Times Square!

As is my habit when I go to NYC, I went to Central Park. 

I love Central Park. I can't say enough positive things about it. I love urban parks in general but Central Park specifically.

I set out to find, as I always do, the Imagine circle in Strawberry Fields. And, as it always goes, I didn't find it. Well, both times I've searched for it, I have technically found it; I've just never seen it. The first time it was off limits for safety reasons (thanks, winds from Hurricane Sandy) and this time was because of the Marathon. 

James at the finish line

There was more walking and talking to people. 

I really do love New York City. The noise, the bustle, the architecture; it all reminds me of the things I miss about living in a big city. I love being lost amongst concrete monoliths and people who are lost in their own worlds. People care, just not enough to do anything about it. I miss an efficient, effective mass transit system. I miss that even in the chaos, there is order.

 

What's not to love?

Next: travel day!

Three Airport, Two Country Day

I made the decision to start this year's trip a bit early. The reasoning is three-fold:
1) Flying from St. John's to Buenos Aires, Argentina, with no time built in for delays or weather, is just asking for trouble.
2) I really like New York City.
3) Apparently Air Miles expire. Who knew? 

I have added in a couple of days on either side of my trip to prepare for the inevitable bullshit that comes with travelling from St. John's. Given that the main runway isn't fully opened and if there is a gust of wind stronger than a breeze they're still cancelling flights, I am very glad I did. I would rather be safe than sorry.

I think my camera was drunk, I have no idea.

Boarded the plane fine, despite the large amount of Bay Folk who have never left the bay ever. Ugh. These are the people who fly with carry on only because checking a bag is expensive (it is), their carry on is oversized, they put it in the overhead bins horizontally and then complain that there is no room in the bins! There is no room because you are idiots. Stop raging on the WestJet flight attendant.

Me? I checked my bag unexpectedly. I didn't think I could because I am a civilian with the CAF, but apparently all WestJet cares is that you work with them. Bonus!

The airplane pulled a U-turn on the runway, which was nifty.

I collected my bag quickly in Toronto and made my way to US customs.

The Toronto flight was a bit late in boarding. No big deal. Shit happens.
This one woman was losing her mind. She had plans in NYC, you see, time sensitive plans! And this wasn't fair!
The WestJet guest agent calmly replied that yelling at her wasn't gong to make the crew have the aircraft ready any sooner.

This is why I fly WestJet.

The US Passport Control is all automated now, which is quite strange. They even take a picture of you at the kiosk where you scan your passport. Here's the problem I have with that. You don't want to mess anything up so you're paying close attention to the screen and nothing else. It informs you that your picture will be taken, so you look up at where you think the camera is and wonder if there is some kind of countdown or light or other warning. There isn't, so you look back at the screen and it says, "taking your picture now". You're like OH SHIT!
The Americans must think we're perpetually startled.

Once through the automatic controls, you go to the regular customs area.
The lady asked me the usual questions and after asking where I work, she sent me to the NEXUS security line! I kept my jacket, scarf and shoes on! My passport and boarding pass are both stamped for US entry, despite that I'm still in Canada. (I hear you, Steve. And I posit this: if I wasn't technically in Canada, why was everything still in French? And why were people flying to other parts of the world and other parts of Canada in the same terminal?)

The flight to LaGuardia was mildly eventful.
Remnants of Hurricane Patricia had been travelling northeastward for days. They hit Toronto and the NY/NJ area bad enough that a travel advisory was put in to place for potential delays. I was lucky to hit none. Until, of course, we are on the plane. The winds are very high and we have to circle the area for about half an hour. Not a big deal; WestJet lands us safe and sound.

I have the best airbnb hosts. We spent hours talking about everything.

Tomorrow: NYC!