Videos!

Sometimes I film videos. Mostly in airports. They're not interesting or funny. I've already posted a couple of them and here are some more.

EWR, sounding pretty positive.

San Francisco. Went outside and walked around. It was hot out and more than a bit smoggy.

You're not allowed to take pictures/text/have contact with the outside world while going through Australian Customs. The video screens alternate between telling you about horrible viruses and now not to get them and that carrying drugs is a crime. You will also be informed that no matter where you choose to have sex with children, it is a crime in Australia and you will be charged and jailed there for it.

Sydney Wild Life Zoo

Anyone who has known me for longer than 30 seconds knows that I am Scottish. They will learn that I am very cheap.

Given the option between paying roughly $60 for a ferry and zoo admission to see a whole bunch of different zoo animals I can find in any old zoo or paying $2.20 for bus fare and $30 (online, saved $8!) to see all the "Australia Animals", it is not difficult to see which I would pick. As much as I love zoos and I love animals, I did not come to Australia to see red pandas or leopards. I have also been given specific instructions by my Nana to "bring back a koala - alive!" that I can't really ignore.

 I did not believe these frogs were real until one of them blinked.

 Wallaby! The wallabies were so adorable.

 Kangaroo! We were allowed to walk around the enclosure and pet them/feed them, but only if they approached us. This guy was a lot more friendly than the rest. I did not tell him that I had eaten his cousin.

 Rachel has very accurately noted that kangaroos lay down like old men.

Kookaburras! They really do laugh. The keepers told us that they only laugh in the morning (like roosters), when it is going to rain or when they feel threatened. This is Jack and Jill, a mated pair. In a pen on the other side of a walk way is Spike, who thinks he can just waltz over and steal Jill. Except that he can't, so he and Jack get in to these yelling contests.

 Koalas! There are four or five koalas in the enclosure. I got there right around feeding time so the place smelled amazing (their diet is entirely eucalyptus). It also smelled a bit like Halls.

 This particular koala was very scratchy. He kept shifting and scratching before he decided to come down and eat.

 He was having none of our picture taking.

 Baby koala! Baby koala was shy but I was patient enough to stick around and get a picture.

This is baby koala's mama. She was on the other side of the enclosure and keeping a careful eye on us.

I pet one of the koalas. They are not as fluffy and cuddly as you might think. They're coarse and wirey. I did not get a picture because they charge, even to take pictures with your own camera (see above note about being Scottish).

Wombat! The wombats kind of lope around.

There was a large section with insects and spiders but I am not keen on either so it looked like a big section of NOPE for me. I did not go in, despite the keeper telling me how amazing it is. No bugs are amazing. They are all fodder to be beaten by my shoe. Spiders 1000x more so.

Next: Bondi!

Sydney, Day Four

I decided to spend the rest of my time in Bondi. I am staying at an Airbnb that is literally metres from the beach; in less than two minutes, I can be in the sand.

From 24 October to 10 November, Bondi hosted Sculptures by the Sea. This was an outdoor showcase of numerous sculptures on a portion of the Bondi to Coogee trail.

 Ghost boat.

 This guy and his friend were holding up the rock.

 This sculpture was massive. It was made of bottle caps and blanketed the rock face, fitting the forms of it perfectly.

 Ghost feet. There were about 20 pairs of feet on both sides of the path, but this was the only pair that looked like they had lost something.

 These little houses were growing something. I have no idea what.

 Everyone and their dog were taking pictures of this one. 1800L of water to turn the world upside down.

From farther away.

The day was warm (about 25) and cloudy. I kept going past the exhibition. The whole area is amazing. The cliffs are a much lighter stone than at home. I want to think they're sandstone, but they look a lot like the Grand Canyon. Which could be sandstone, I guess. 

Next: Animals!

Brisbane Bonus Day!

I have no idea how I managed, but I got my departure date for Brisbane wrong. I thought I was leaving on the 9th but it turned out to be the 10th. Awesome.

I decided to walk in the opposite direction I had been already. Instead of turning left out of the hotel, I turned right. I ended up following the road over the Story Bridge, a giant steel span bridge. There are signs all across it with a number for a suicide hotline and three phones to call said hotline.
This bridge is long. It continues as an overpass once it spans the river on the south side. I think the overpass portion is longer than the bridge itself.

Once over the bridge, I was in Kangaroo Point. Disappointingly named as there were no kangaroos in site. I did, however, see a lizard.

Kangaroo Point and South Bank Parklands are highly organized when it comes to the flow of pedestrian and bicycle traffic. There are physical barriers between the two lanes, about the height of a railway tie. One little boy on a bike veered into the pedestrian lane after coming around a corner and had a minor heart attack about it until his dad told him it was okay, he could get back on the cycle path in a second.

They are anti-segway, however. No segways at all.

 A literal sunflower! I didn't see any more of these on the path or what it might be connected to but it was working overtime.

In the middle of the public park were coin-op barbecues. They were very clean and well used. I'm guessing they are a radiant heat source as there didn't seem to be any kind of gas or propane going in to it.

I walked along to Streets Beach. Streets Beach is a sandy beach and lagoon right off the Brisbane River. I took my sandals off and walked in the sand and the warm water. It was impossible to take a picture without looking like a creep.

Along the South Bank Parklands is an arbour covered in bougainvilleas. This provides some wonderful shade and an amazing scent.

All around there are lorikeets in the trees, singing and flying. I thought they were parrots until I saw one up close.

Next: Sydney!

33!

Also it is apparently Christmas in Brisbane. I do not understand this.

 James has goals. Lofty ones.

 There were more displays like this all around Queen Street Mall that were all kinds of Christmassy things. Keep in mind that it is about 35 and hot. And sunny. And the opposite of Christmas.

It is Hanukkah too.

My goal for the day - for months, really - was to acquire a lamington. A lamington is two pieces of white cake with jam or custard in the middle (Team Jam), covered lightly in chocolate and then rolled in coconut. I could start a lamington business in Canada and be a millionaire.

I got back to my hotel and the lovely staff had set out a bottle of sparkling wine, a card and some chocolates for me. Totally unexpected and wonderful!

Because of the heat and sun and the fact I'm a pasty ass strawberry blonde, my sunburn turned in to a blistering, peeling sunburn. I've never had a sunburn blister before, so that's something.

Next: Bonus day in Brisbane! (Also known as, Jaée Can't Read Departure Dates Day.)

Brisbane Day One

After Cairns, I flew to Brisbane.

I flew Virgin Australia and while I may not like Richard Branson all that much, I do like his airline. It is a lot like WestJet in service quality and for entertainment, they have an app for your phone/tablet that connects to inflight wireless and lets you watch from an excellent selection of movies and tv shows. The flight was just long enough for two episodes of Go On (RIP) and part of the Liberace movie that was on HBO. Good on you, Virgin Australia.

For my birthday, I decided to spend some time in a hotel instead of a hostel or Airbnb. What an excellent idea. I stayed at Diamant Brisbane and it was phenomenal.

 The room had a Juliet balcony and one of the best beds I have ever slept on. James agreed.

We wandered around a lot. Brisbane is a very walkable city.

 

Brisbane is the capital of Queensland. Once again, I attempted a tour of the building (still unsure what they call it here). Once again, I was thwarted.

These are the men who thwarted my plan. They were at least friendly about it and offered to take a picture with James. One of their colleagues was passing by and said that their job was so rough it must be hard to bear.

 Palm tree in the City Botanical Garden. I realized there were no pictures of this sort yet and needed to rectify that.

 I'm not one to mess with tradition. James and Queen Victoria.

It is hot as fuck in Brisbane. Easily 30 degrees and I never seem to be walking in the shade. As a result, I have pretty badly sunburned shoulders despite all the SPF I am applying every couple of hours. Ouch. Turns out I might not be joking about bringing back skin cancer as a souvenir.

Next: Birthday!

Cairns and the Great Barrier Reef

I have learned a few things about myself this trip.

1) I like to fly.
2) I do not like boats.
3) Boats do not like me.

As one does in Cairns, I took a boat out to the Great Barrier Reef. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I did it, I'm glad I had the experience. I am not glad I spent almost literally the whole boat ride throwing up. Ugh.

The crew of the boat trip kept apologizing for the weather conditions - it had been windy the night before and was a bit breezy the day of, so visibility was "maybe five or ten meters". In warm, turquoise water. I explained that where I'm from, the water is ink black and freezing cold (using the Titanic as an example: most of those people died from exposure, not drowning).

The result was that I didn't get many "good" pictures. I said that any pictures of the colour of the water would be taunting enough to everyone back home.

 I did end up going on a glass bottom boat. The crew member who operated the boat is from Saint John, NB. He laughed and agreed when I spoke of the cold, ink black water. He was also a marine biologist so he knew a lot about the coral. Basically, if coral looks like something, odds are that's what its name is.
An American tourist from California in her small bikini kept asking what the kinds of coral were ("What about the stuff that looks like broccoli?" "What did they call the stuff that looks like brains?" "Where is Nemo?" "Is there surfing in Australia?"). She told us she was "freezing" and "going to warm up in the sun" (the boat had a canopy). She proceeded to lean into the sun in her best model pose. The rest of us ignored her.

 A few fish chased after our boat.

 The sand on the near horizon is where we landed to go snorkeling. I chose not to snorkel this time, as there was a second location to do so at. Michaelmas Cay is part of a bird sanctuary, not unlike Witless Bay. Most of the birds we saw were various species of terns and boobies. They smell, though not as bad as puffins. We were given very strict orders not to cross a rope, as that area was protected by the Queensland Government and we would get a $7500 fine. I stayed on the sand.

I went snorkeling at the second location. It is kind of strange, knowing it is okay to put your whole face in the water and still be able to breathe mostly normal. I did panic the first time I breathed in through my nose and got nothing but silicone from the mask. We all had to wear "stinger suits" because it is the start of jellyfish season. The crew said the jellyfish that are out this early are nearly invisible and the size of your thumb. The suits covered about 90% of your body because the staff said they weren't willing to pee on anyone. I don't know if I am grateful for that or not.

The boat ride back went slightly worse for me. I am really not a boat person at all. I am okay with this as the likelihood I will be on a boat again is slim.

 Back on land, thank God, I went to the mall across the street for dinner (everything else was closed or not open yet as part of the night market). I was most fascinated that a) there was a moving sidewalk in the mall and b) it was slanted! I love moving sidewalks. I think they're super efficient. Sometimes I am far too lazy to walk in an airport and a moving sidewalk is exactly perfect. Get on the ball, YYT.

Cairns International Airport is busy. It is a lot busier than I expected. It is highly efficient as well; there is no milling about the gates for extended periods of time as you wait for your flight. There isn't a lot of seating and you have to walk a bit on the tarmac to get to your plane. That said, they boarded my plane from both doors. I vote for this all the time.

 A portion of the huge Great Barrier Reef from above.
Unlike some other "great" things I have seen in my life, this was not a let down. The Great barrier Reef is great both in description and in scope.

Next stop: Brisbane! (Which I was calling Melbourne until I got to my hotel. Whoops.)

Sydney, Day 3

Today I accidentally found a rose garden. I was looking for something else entirely and found a public rose garden instead. What a lovely surprise.

 Sydney is the capital of New South Wales. I set out to find their Legislative Assembly. I was expecting something a bit closer to what most Canadian capitals have because they have very similar parliamentary system as we do (as all of the Commonwealth does). I tried to get a tour, even pulling out my "I work for the Canadian Government" card, but it didn't work. School tours only.

 I love the interrobang. It is my favourite punctuation mark. It is also highly appropriate for a State Library to use. Good on you, NSW State Library.

 This sign lied. I waited and waited and waited for about 20 minutes and there were a total of zero zebras that crossed. Highly disappointing.

On the other side of the crosswalk, however, was a Guy Fawkes protest of some sort. There were about 50 people on the steps of the old State Library building hollering on about something, all wearing Guy Fawkes masks. At first I thought it was some Anonymous bullshit but then I realized it was 5 November and they were reciting Remember, Remember. They dispersed shortly after. They had even invited the police to watch and make sure they didn't take the poem too literally.

It was nice to stop and smell the roses, both literally and figuratively.

 I had set out on the day to find the Anzac Memorial. This building is beyond words. It is gigantic and simple all at once. It is made of concrete and clad with pink granite. The interior is made up of marble with four niches listing places the 1st AIF fought during many wars.

 It is a very quiet place.

 The pigeon didn't seem to know what was behind it.

I sat down for lunch and had some company. I had heard parrots in the trees all day long but this was the first that they actually flew down!

Next stop: Cairns!